But I’m still here.
I don’t like to write for the sake of it. I want to have something to say. I was always told I talk to much and for those of you who know me you will know this is true and I always have something to say! But of course, I’m not talking about just ‘something’, like what I had for dinner last night (A very naughty not gluten free papa johns pizza now you’ve asked), I’m talking about the big things.
I’ve just been finding it hard to write recently. I started The Mother’s Story and it is so difficult to write. It doesn’t ‘feel’ right yet. It doesn’t have that flow. It’s also very emotionally draining to put my experiences into words. It’s not just writing, it acknowledging what I’ve been though and facing it for what it is. I cruised through it all, as I do, walls up, not dealing, just moving forward , getting it done. So, I guess the writing is dealing, and I guess part of me just isn’t ready for some of that yet!
But I need to write. It helps me leave myself behind. To be stronger. To be wiser. To be me.